


Of Spades Toys and Sunshine Boys

by aphenglandstan



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Cardverse, M/M, Might make a series out of this, and they haven, bc y’all eat that up and I love it too ndnfnffb, but I think it’s okay nonetheless, this one’s a little jokey, ’t quite fallen in love yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22900150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphenglandstan/pseuds/aphenglandstan
Summary: Arthur doesn’t wanna be queen. Meh, the King’s okay.
Relationships: America/England (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	Of Spades Toys and Sunshine Boys

**Author's Note:**

> the title was almost “Card Check! *pulls out queen of spades and smacks you with it*”

Arthur Kirkland was exhausted. He'd been crowned Queen of Spades due to some stupid birthmark that his doctor noticed on his chest. Yes, you read that right. Queen. He wasn't King. No. Instead, he had to get married to one. Luckily, Arthur was gay, and the guy was fairly attractive. Didn't soften the blow of being forced to leave his whole life, marry a complete stranger, and rule a kingdom alongside said complete stranger.

On top of that, Arthur had never been into politics. He didn't even know the kinda hot King's name. All he knew was from the few portraits that he'd seen. And all he really remembered was that he was kinda hot. He didn't even think he could pick the guy out in a crowd. But even so, the strangers who seemed to control him like a puppet had already pronounced him married to the King, despite the fact that they'd never even met- or seen each other, for that.

Because of the goddamn birthmark, he was paraded around and had to pose for far too many photos. It was enough to make a lesser man lose his composure, but not Arthur. He even somehow kept his cool while being asked about a thousand times about how it felt being the first male Queen in hundreds of years. Had he been honest, he would've said it felt shitty. But he wasn't the most honest man. It came with being a gentleman. Composure and politeness over honesty. Every time. It was the sacrifice that he made to be a polite member of high society. After all, his parents had been high class. So instead of admitting how horrible it felt, Arthur said that it was an honor. And a burden that he was proud to carry for the kingdom.

But it was all bullshit.

He wanted to scream and run and leave the kingdom, but he felt obligated to stay. For his honor, and because he knew they'd track him down. The doctor had even chipped him when he first saw the mark. Microchipped him. Like a fucking dog. Just for some mark that he happened to be born with. It was disgusting.

But nonetheless, he found himself in a palace. It was beautiful. That was one pro of getting tossed into the role of queen. If Arthur'd had a nice sketchbook- or canvas- or a camera, he would've had a field day. Er, he supposed that he could get his hands on one later. The palace was his home now.

"So, Queen Arthur, how do you like it here?" A random man- who he assumed was his royal advisor or something of the sort- had greeted him at the door, told him to make himself at home, and hadn't left his side since.

"It's nice," Arthur replied, glancing away from the man.

"Queen- Can I just call you Arthur?" The man laughed, and Arthur's heart fluttered a little. He was cute, in a dorky kinda way. But Arthur wasn't the most popular- or manly- looking guy, himself. And besides, he found the dork attributes kinda cute. Glasses, a t-shirt and some jeans with a lined cape over it. He didn't seem to be the best dresser, but it seemed to work for him.

"That's fine," Arthur muttered. He'd always rather liked formalities, but being Queen left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Okay. Great. Arthur, do you need anything? Anything that'll make you more comfortable?" The man kept looking at him, and smiling hard.

"Well, your name would be helpful." Arthur avoided the guy's gaze, picking at his fingers as he spared the guy occasional glances.

"You can just call me Alfred." The guy- Alfred- scratched his head and laughed a little.

"Lovely." The name sounded familiar to Arthur, and it seemed to match the face, but he couldn't quite place it. Perhaps he'd met the man at something with his parents.

"Anything else to help relax you?" Alfred seemed hellbent on fulfilling Arthur's needs.

"Perhaps some juice. Orange, if you have it. But why with all of this talk of relaxing?"

"Well, I mean, one, you just moved here and I wanna get you acclimated to it. And two, we're kinda expected to fuck tonight. So I thought you'd at least want to know me before that." Alfred's face reddened, and Arthur felt his flushing as well.

And shit. It hit him why he recognized the man in front of him.

Arthur practically fell into a bow on his knees. "I'm so sorry, my King. My sincerest apologies for my behaviour here."

"Dude, you didn't do anything wrong. And get up. You're Queen now, and it's still weird to have people bowing to me." King Alfred pulled at his collar.

Arthur felt awkward. His senses were just overloaded with the awkwardness. He knew that King Alfred had been king for a while, but the King looked so young. And he acted so young. It hit Arthur just then how much worse it must've been for his King. After all, not only had he been there alone for so long, he had also probably been quite young when he was crowned King. "But what do you mean we have to fuck? That's a little alarming."

"You know, consummate the marriage and shit. They told me I'd have to do that with my Queen on our wedding night and child me thought it was gross. Now I just think it's kinda weird and kinda blurring the lines of consent." King Alfred was rather casual with his words and body language, despite Arthur's formality.

"I do agree with that last part, but how do they check? Pregnancy? We're both men. What's stopping us from just obnoxiously fake moaning and screaming terribly bad sex noises through the walls?" Arthur felt his composure waver as a smirk creeped across his face.

King Alfred laughed, and the butterflies resumed their activities in Arthur's stomach.

"Nothing, I guess." King Alfred's smile was wider than before, a new twinkle in his eyes.

"Then it's a date," Arthur said, interlocking his pinky finger with King Alfred's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And in possibly the strangest night of Arthur's life- which was saying something- he made obnoxiously loud fake moans with the King of Spades, while reading an old Shakespeare play.

However, being familiar with Shakespeare's life, Arthur supposed that it was how Shakespeare meant for it to be read.

But looking at the man beside him as they both fell to the bed in giggles, Arthur felt like maybe being Queen wouldn't be so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed, feel free to leave Kudos and/or a comment!


End file.
